I think I first came across the idea for this post on TikTok or Facebook.
You know, some of our “bad” or “unhealthy” habits might actually be long-term trauma responses.
Anyway, here’s what I mean.
Like staying up way too late. People call it bad sleep hygiene or whatever, but sometimes it’s the only time your brain actually gets some quiet. The only window where you can sit with your own thoughts and process the day without someone needing something from you.
Or doomscrolling. Yeah it’s a waste of time, sure. But sometimes you’re doing it because the alternative is sitting alone with your own head, and that’s scarier than watching strangers argue on the internet.
Perfectionism is another one. From the outside it looks like a good trait, right? But a lot of the time it’s just control. If everything is perfect, nothing can go wrong, and if nothing goes wrong, you’re safe. That’s not ambition, that’s survival mode.
And then there’s the burnout that never seems to go away. The procrastination that isn’t laziness but more like your brain freezing up because it’s terrified of failing. The way some people just disappear when things get hard because isolation is the only self-protection they’ve ever known. Or constantly needing people to tell you you’re doing okay because deep down you don’t believe it yourself. Or never saying no to anything because rejection, even the idea of it, feels like the end of the world.
I could go on and on.
I’m not a psychologist, and I don’t know whether all of these are really correlated or not. But at least some of them have happened to me. These habits we keep calling “bad” or “unhealthy” might just be coping strategies. Things we developed to survive everything we’ve been through.
I think just noticing this stuff is already a big deal. Not fixing it, not having a plan, just going “oh, that’s why I do that.” That’s enough for now.
So, good luck!